I am convinced that one day our nine year old son will make a fabulous husband. The reason? He is used to dealing with irrational women and doesn't even bat an eyelid. No, not me. Well OK, may be occasionally - but more often than not his three year old sister. Take this evening. The poor boy didn't even get in until 6.15pm, having been at school followed by tennis. He had just sat down to his dinner when said three year old appeared with her Dora stool, pulled it up to the kitchen worksurface and swiped the last piece of flapjack.
Given that she had already had some as part of her dinner- well actually if I'm being honest it WAS her dinner as she rejected her M&S kiddies' pizza - (having said that I would have too. I am not sure whether it was its lack of salt and sugar or the fact that it was a day past its sell by date - don't tell her - and perhaps had something green and furry growing on the bottom - but it wasn't terribly pleasant to eat) - and I really didn't want her to have any more.
This resulted in me chasing her round the kitchen island trying to retrieve the bowl that she had in her mitts with the flapjack in it. Having successfully retrieved it, she broke down in sobs and which point, our son said to her "Come on you, time for one of our chats" (they happen fairly often) - and off he carried her. More about that later.....
I can't even bring myself to tell you the price of it as it might spoil the enjoyment of looking at it but how gorgeous is it? It would be ever so practical too - not only would it go with everything but it is spacious and most importantly - assuming that you loved it - it would make you smile and you can't put a price on that. (Yes, I like that line too - guilt free shopping at its best.)
Sometimes owning one beautiful accessory can really lift the rest of your wardrobe - and that is going to be my stance for this season. OK, so you might not be able to afford any new clothes but I am sure that we all have a few white items in our wardrobes that, with a bit of glo-white will almost be as good as new. Failing that, just adopt the Victoria Beckham style of designing - wrap a bit of fabric (a white sheet will do) around you, secure in place and Bob's your uncle - a new dress is made. Florals and wedges have been around for years and there are bound to be some lurking at the back of your wardrobe. As for 70's jeans - I am sure that your Mum will have an old pair somewhere and the bold, bright, colours thing - Dylon is the answer. Layering is all about finding as many clothes you can in a fairly neutral palette and putting them all on together - upside down, back to front, it doesn't matter as long as you are decent. No doubt you have a maxi dress from last year and as for all those camel and nude items which you bought in the winter but which drained you - dig them out and wear them in spring instead. Inspirational - a whole new wardrobe and not a penny spent.
So, to conclude the tale of the flapjack and the chat with the three year old. A settlement appeared to have been reached and all was well. The tears stopped, I stopped running around the kitchen island and son looked happy and went back to his dinner.
Some time later I asked son how the chat had gone and what he had said to calm the little one down. "Nothing" he said, with a shrug of his shoulders. "She shouted at me and told me to go away." And the thing is, he didn't even comment on it or complain. A good future husband? I rest my case. Wonder if he will be able to calm me down as I run round the kitchen island crying because not only is there no flapjack left but because I can't have the pink bag either. Probably. He has had plenty of training.